Chameleon In a Snow Storm

There's some beautiful irony in the fact that college is for smart people, but when you get there you feel like an idiot.

After 43 days at college life, there is no greater feeling than remembering where you were at the beginning and saying: Oh my gravy! Look at how much I've grown as a human being since then!
When everybody gets here they know what their greatest weaknesses will be. You leave home and you have that list in your head of the things you will miss most. At first you have to ignore them and push forward, but after a while they start breaking you down.
If you are not a "crier" before college, you will be within a week and a half after moving in.

Now, luckily my parents were just here for parent weekend, which was a blessing. I had missed them so much, and there was a lot of relief in having them here to see all the things I have accomplished in the short time I've been at Hendrix. They also thankfully helped me build a bookshelf and brought me a second spoon so I don't have to stir my coffee and then dip into my raisin bran with the same spoon each morning (my entire breakfast experience has been drastically enhanced). On the other hand though, It has been 44 days since I have seen my church babies, 45 days since I've seen my best friend, and it's really easy to get torn apart by feeling the absence of those who are vitally important to you.

One of my most influential role models told me though, "College is about celebrating the little victories."

The greatest victory comes from fearlessly being yourself. Even people that have a good head on their shoulders reflect on their saturday where they did laundry or homework and consider whether partying would make them cooler or more normal. The truth is that the more you embrace who God needs you to be the better off you are. I've done my fair share of going and seeing what a party is like, some are fun. More often than not, I found that I wasn't being true to myself when I went out though. I'd rather be watching a movie with friends, or going out to late night ihop than trying to make conversation at a big party.

My greatest achievement thus far in coming to college was reaching out to my chaplains. After spending a few weeks asking why I didn't fit in quite right, I became a UMYF scholar, and met my closest friends. There is a lot of power in digging into faith as a college student. There are a thousand reasons to drop faith when you're scrapped for time, but as I prepare to do internships in the coming summers, I find that enriching my college life with faith is helping me grow into the adult I need to be. I love being a UMY (You-me) because I have a great mixture of people around me that are from all sorts of backgrounds and social circles.

Its interesting to move from a very homogeneous town to a liberal arts college. I have been exposed to diversity here that encourages the "weird" or "strange" things in myself. For most people here, it has been a blessing to meet people that are so genuinely themselves. When you figure out how to be genuinely yourself and stick to it, that's when you become brave enough to be in college. I was terrified to live so far away from my best friend, my home, my church, but the truth is that all those things are still a part of all that I am. When I work with the middle school youth at my local church here in Conway, I remember mine back home. I remember the amount of grace and compassion they are capable of, and I am able to step up and be an adult because the youth counselors at FMUMC showed me how. My time in theatre showed me how to find the best in people, which has been invaluable to me here.

Another influential role model once told me "Blessings are not temporary, because you take them with you." College is the place where God takes every blessing you've ever received and uses it to bless you again. Every experience (good and bad), every great success, every failure, every person…if it taught you something even just once; they become blessings all over again.

I attend a freshman girls bible study on Tuesday mornings. One morning my chaplain asked if we were feeling overwhelmed. As always, I attempted to find a metaphor to explain how I felt about something. (This only works sometimes…most times it just gets played off as humor…) Out of my mouth though, came "Being a freshman in college is like being a chameleon in a snow storm." We laughed together, and shared a wonderful moment of fellowship as we compared what animals we felt like, but I feel accurate, as silly as the idea is. You can imagine the chameleon in the snow… this new environment is so overwhelming, its like nothing you've ever seen before. Its not bad, its just something you've never encountered. Snow? What is this cold thing that makes you uncomfortable and not yourself? You miss the temperate climate you came from, and you desperately try to blend in. Here's the secret though: there are so many other chameleons in the snow.
There are so many blessings to be found, and if you focus on how cold you are and how hard it is to fade to snow-white, you'll never see them. Its when you let yourself be green and fully what you were intended to be that other people can find you. That is truly the blessing of being created in the image of God.

So, how am I doing so far? I'm learning how to be brave, I'm learning how to study…and I'm learning how to creatively make lunchables into real food… but I tell you what, even when it's a hard day, I am trying to see myself as blessed. I now have the friends and resources on campus that I know I can reach out to. When all else fails though, I know I can call my family, my best friend, or my church family and they will give me good perspective.

LET GOd

-Ellen